On account of the fact that I haven't written in here for 4 days I wrote a big, long, boring entry. Then deleted it. I rambled, boringly. I'll summerise what I wrote:

+ I have applied to be a reviewer at %%diary-fuckyoureviews%% and %%diary-papercutview%%. I like the former better.

+ Jared's party is tomorrow night.

+ The chick that Will likes is best friends with Megan Hall, the only person I have ever truly hated for an extended period of time, she made my life hell when I was 8-10 years old. She told me that if I was cooler my dad wouldn't have done anything to me.

+ I told Will that I didn't wanna give him advice on that girl anymore because she sounds like a bitch, mostly based on her friends.

+ Will went ape and has now (I think) blocked me.

+ I dunno if I like Jared anymore.

+ I am getting a scaling knife from a friend (thanks friend, they know who they are).

And that was basiclly it.

I have to put this song in here, it is hilarious...

Asshole - Denis Leary

.

(Spoken)

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.

About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests.

About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.

.

(Sung)

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.

I'm your average white suburbanite slob.

I like football and porno and books about war.

I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.

My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar.

.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested

no way

No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

.

I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,

While people behind me are going insane.

.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

.

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,

I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"

.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

.

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,

While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

.

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song

Ranting and raving and carrying on

Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...

.

NAAAAH!

.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

.

(Spoken)

Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.

I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin

and Sam Peckinpaw

and a case of whisky

and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!)

.

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?

.

(Sung)

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

A S-S H-O L-E

Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E

Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf

Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom

Oooooooo

.

(Spoken)

I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

---------------------------------

I have no motivation to write at the moment so don't expect lots of writing.

Lauren