It's looking up. Life, I mean.

Today was great. me and Laura stalked (kinda) Will Mctavish. It's fun creeping him out. And Alex was being a cock in English coz he wouldn't tell me something and the only clue he'd give me was "pie".

I've been looking at older shit I've written and I switch writing styles so much! I kinda like it, like I never know what to expect from myself. Though some of the styles/ whatevers are not so cool, like for a while there I wrote really graficlly about hurting myself,w hich is very not cool.

I stole a Stanley knife from Enterprise Studies today, then I chucked it away coz I know those things can do real damage, and I couldn't be bothered dealing with the concequences. I also gave away the knife that I got ages ago (yanno, the scary looking blunt one) to Gustav coz he was the 1st person I saw who might want it and I just had to get rid of it. I dunno why, but having it was giving me a bad feeling.

Speaking of Gustav he's going to South Africa for like 6 months on Saturday, might miss him. Jeffery is in Australia, it's really random coz he didn't tell us he was going. Ah well. I miss him.

Life is really unsteady right now. Like (damn I am saying like way way too much today, and typing it for thta matter :P), there is so directions it can go in from this point. I'm hopeing it isn't gonna go back down hill but if it does it does and I'm just gonna have to deal with it.

People in my peer group are going into their disorders. Like (there I go again) people are growing into who they are gonna be and it's a bit worrying in some places. Like the nyphomaniacs, the kleptomaniacs, the maniacs, the weirdos, the geeks, the skanks, the religious people, the self-injurers, the druggies, the eating disordered, the suicidal, the independent, the co-dependent etc etc etc are starting to come out. It is really fucking amazing to watch, but also really scary at the same time. It makes me worry and it makes me proud and it makes me feel inferior because they are all so brilliant and so deep, but it also makes me feel superior because I discovered a good ammount about my personailty and who/ what I am a fair while before they did. I dunno, people watching just rocks. I could be wrong about everything, but I know I'm not.

Everyone around me is starting to show their true colours and it's fucking awesome.

Even if their true colours are red or black or grey...

:) I haven't rambed like that for a good long while.

Thanks for being here in my burst of understanding... Actually... thank you for being here in general. it means the world to me.

Lauren