Like the new layout? I know I change them lots but I have far too much time on my hands and this one is cool and I can use it even though I don't have a gold membership. I was browsing through the templates section in %%diary-frozen-kiss%% and I went to %%diary-nndesign%% and it has some of the best layouts I have ever ever ever seen. I love them. So I left the person who runs it a message in the guestbook saying that I love all of her designs but I can't use one for lack of goldmembership. She left me a note saying that I can use them. So I got this one. I got it because, when I was browsing through, this one made me freeze with shock/ horror. It looked oh-so-fimiliar. I wonder if it is real blood... It looks real.

Day 5 today. I dunno if I can be bothered... it is so much easier to just cut. My left arm is at that enticing stage. All of the cuts have closed up and some are flaking and some are covering over and... well they're starting to scar and other such interesting things... So damn tempting. But I get the feeling that it is make or break time. That if I do it now I will get myself in deeper than I was before, and if I don't then it'll likely be a while before I fully fuck it all up. I know I will again. And I don't mean that in a I-hate-myself-for-no-reason-other-than-the-fact-that-I-am-angsty way. I mean it in a sort of I-know-I-am-weak-but-that's-ok-coz-it-is-who-I-am way.

Now I have to go put a pretty layout in %%diary-nsx%%

Everyone go look...

Weeeeeeeee...

Lauren

PS I know who Ben likes and it's not me lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala