Wow... I am so fucking hopeless at taking compliments, like someone'll compliment me and I'll sorta be like 'ah, yeah... erm...' and it's really annoying. I do like being complimented... kinda... meh... but we all already knew I'm weird...

Mmmm... so I definitly think that the stuff on my thigh is infected, but oh well, it's all just part of the fun, isn't it?

You know, just because I said that I don't care if I cut or whatever it doesn't mean that I have to cut. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna do it just for the sake of it, or that I might feel obligated to. No. It just means that it doesn't matter if I do.

No more of that "damned if I do, damned if I don't" bullshit. I can if I want but I don't have to. I won't feel bad if I do and I sure as hell won't feel bad if I don't.

Did you know that we have Hybrid Theory (Linkin Park) in all 3 stereos in the house? I love it so much. It's like perfect music for me, I'd be so lost without it. Like it's good for when I'm sad/ angry/ depressed/ bored/ happy/ energetic/ drained/ basiclly any mood you can think of.

I'm getting used to my hair now, but I'm still going to dye it on Saturday *fingers crossed* coz I like brown hair better. Or redish brown or something.

Patchy added me back to his list, but he's offline (or blocked me) now again. Oh, ok. He's back again now.

The other night between like 11pm and 1am about the Chemical Brothers. So random. I hardly even like the Chemical Brothers, but as far as that sorrta music goes it's all good.

So many songs say "shake it"... shake what? Can I shake "it"? Do I already shake "it" but I just don't know it?

I'm falling back into insomnia with the coming of summer. I mean in winter I'll lay awake for 2 maybe 3, possibly 4 hours before sleeping. Whereas in summer it's more likely to be 4, 5, 6 hours if I sleep at all. I dunno which I prefer. Though I like the weightloss, the shadows under the eyes and the constant exhaustion of summer. Weird, I know, but that's just how I am. But this summer I am thinking that I might get some sleeping pills from my doc next time I see her. They're also good for mini-OD's, or so I'm told...

Oh what a summer it's gonna be.

*grins*

I have so many new things planned or new things that I can't help, it's gonna be great. And I don't even care about the fact that my left arm is covered in scars and it's prolly gonna be 2 or 3 months till I can wear short sleeves without being stared at in public again. I mean I can't do anythhing about them till they fade out to an acceptable degree. Until there I just won't cut that arm anymore and it'll all be sweet. Or my other arm or my lower legs. But I have my thighs. And my chest if I get desperate.

Well I'm outta here now,

Peace babes,

Lauren