Well well well... Where to start?

I know... my first and second reviews. w00t.

Jared's party was fun.

::giggle::

Umm... it was kinda boring at the beginning, all that happened was the 3rd form *girls* (Lauren! they are not sluts...) dirty danced and made out which was weird coz they had flab. Sorry, but people shouldn't dirty dance wearing boob tubes and lowriders if their stomachs are gonna hang over them. Sorry, I am being mean, but I am in the 'beauty is thin' diaryring. RAH!!!. Anyway... I was talking to these cool 6th form chicks from QMC who showed up they were real nice, how was I to know that the one with the dreads was Angela (Jared's ex), I mean I'd been told that she was short, fat, bitchy, ugly and blonde - she was none of them. So I can't have anything against her. And I don't coz I am over Jared. I actually mean it this time. Later on the 3rd form *girls* left and some people went down to Karori Normal School to smoke pot, damiana [sp??], something else and drink, I made this guy who Laura used to call 'hot dreads guy' at the beginning of the year (his name is actually Brady hee... hee... hee...) and his friend stay behind, Jared was as well. It was so cold in the house thing so i got Jared's jacket but I was still cold so I massaged some people's shoulders and backs a bit coz it warms me (and them) up a bit. I mostly just massaged Brady. Then I was still cold so he said I could sit on/ with him coz he's warm.

So I did.

Whilst cuddling up we first held hands, then we kissed, then we moved to the couch in the same room as everyone else, then we moved into the couch in the other room... It was nice, he's sweet and an ok kisser. It was annoying though coz I had to be on top of him coz he said he's too heavy and he'd crush me (prolly right lol).

Heh it was so weird, we were kissing and we paused for a bit (this was when we were in the room with everyone else) and he's suddenly like 'how many times have you kissed Jared?' so I told him, 3 and then he talked about Jared for a bit... it was so strange, so I shut him up by kissing him, but still. When you are making out of a chick do you suddenly start asking her about soem other guy?

No, you don't.

*Shakes head*

But, yeah, I think we hooked up for like half an hour before he had to leave and I had to leave :(.

When i woke up this morning (afternoon) my neck was sooooo sore, still is. Ouchiesness, I figure it's prolly from a combination of leaning over to massage people and leaning over to kiss him, so I put tiger balm (actually tiger liniment, which is a kinda liquid version of tiger balm) on my neck and it burnt like a wild thing!!! But it was allll worth it.

I asked Jared and he said that Brady likes me... (no shit sherlock). Now is the bit where I stress...

BRADY DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE CUTTING.

Help!!! I mean, he obviously saw the scars on my chest but... fark... those scars look like they could be from a rash or something. And most of them are really light now. The look like they could even just be some dents in my skin. What if he freaks out? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me because of it? What if he says he'll only go out with me if I stop? I am getting far too ahead of myself... what if he doesn't even wanna go out with me? I wanna go out with him. But what if it was just hooking up with a random chick at a party for him? I mean... FARK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( it always ends up being about the fucking cutting, doesn't it? I haven't even done it since like last Tuesday or Wednesday. O_O. Wow, I haven't done it for a while. Yay. Teeheehee...

I was talking to Ben about this all and he's like 'what if Jared warns him off coz? that's the kinda guy Jared seems like to me.' What if Jared does? I wouldn't put it past him.

Change of topic.

I found this survey in %%diary-sixonenine%%'s diary when i was reviewing it.

BASICS

+ 001. name : Lauren

+ 002. nicknames : slalauren, torturedkiss, t_k...

+ 003. sex : Female

+ 004. birthday : May 19th

+ 005. age : 14 (wow, that is the 1st time I have written my age in here, now to see how many people no longer wanna talk to me...)

+ 006. star sign : Taurus

+ 007. place of birth : Lower Hutt, New Zealand

+ 008. current residence : Brooklyn, Wellington, New Zealand

+ 009. hair color : Blonde naturally (I think), dyed kinda brown

+ 010. eye color: change colour, mostly somrthing to do with green though

+ 011. height: 5'11" or something... 175cm

+ 012. writing hand : right

BODY iLLS + SKiLLS

+ 013. do you bite your nails: yup

+ 014. can you roll your tongue : Yes and I can flip it over and do that 3 thingy thing

+ 016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : nope

+ 017. can you blow smoke rings : yup

+ 018. can you blow spit bubbles : yes

+ 019. can you cross your eyes : yah

+ 020. colored hair : totally

+ 021. tattoos and where : nill

+ 022. piercings and where : one/ two in each ear (I only use one set of them coz the others mostly closed up)

+ 023. do you make your bed daily : hellll no

+ 024. what goes on first bra or underwear: underwear

+ 025. which shoe goes on first: left

+ 036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone: yup, many a time

+ 037. how much money is usually in your wallet : normally no mroe than a dollar, but sometimes up to $50 (bus and train passes)

+ 038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7: none

+ 039. whats sexiest on a guy: hair/ height

+ 040. whats sexiest on a girl: even though I'm not a lez I'll say hair too lol

+ 041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: depends where I'm going...

+ 042. do you twirl your spagetti or cut it: twirl

+ 043. how many cereals are in your cabinet : 4 or 5, I think

+ 044. what utensils do you use eating pizza: None

+ 045. do you cook: yup, I am vaugly ok... sometimes...

GROOMiNG

+ 046. how often do you brush your teeth: anywhere between once and 5 times a day

+ 047. how often do you shower/bathe: once a day most days

+ 048. how long do these showers last: 8-20 minutes

+ 049. hair drying method: towel and hairbrush (I hate blowdriers)

+ 050. do you paint your nails: on occasion

+ 051. do you swear: yes, all the fucking time -_o

+ 052. do you mumble to yourself: yesums

+ 053. do you spit in public: sometimes

+ 054. do you pee in the shower: nope

+ 055. in the cd player: channel z best of volume 3 (I have it out from the library)

+ 056. person you talk most on the phone with: Laura, I think...

+ 057. what color is your bedroom: orange, blue and green :D

+ 058. do you use an alarm clock: nope

+ 059. name four things or people you're obsessed with?: self-injury, music, the internet and *****

+ 060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex: prolly when i was little

+ 061. ever sunbathed in the nude: yup

+ 062. window seat or aisle: I hate flying

+ 063. whats your sleeping position: fetal position

+ 064. what kind of bed do you like: big and warm or small and warm... warm heehee

+ 065. in hot weather do you use a blanket: yup or a sheet

+ 066. do you snore: I think so

+ 067. do you sleepwalk: used to

+ 068. do you talk in your sleep: apperently I do sometimes

+ 070. how about the light on: nope

+ 071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio: nah

__WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU

+ 072. had sex: never

+ 073. were kissed or kissed someone: last night... *blushes*

+ 074. watched bambi: good question... maybe when I was 7 or 8

+ 075. cried: think it's been a while (as in a week or more... I am a cry baby)

+ 076. talked on the phone: Last night to bethan to tell her I was getting a ride with Mary

+ 077. read a book: I read some of Prozac Nation yesterday when I *wasn't* stalking Will and Sarah

+ 078. punched someone: Thursday last wekk most likely

+ 079. where do you see yourself ten years from now: either 6 feet under or in my second year at an accounting firm wondering how I'm gonna tell *insert person who I am with at the time* that I wanna move to America coz I will've raised enough funds by then *hopefully*... that or stripping

+ 080. who are you gonna be married to and where: haven't a clue, I doubt I'll ever get married

+ 081. how many kids do you want to have: if I have any there'll be more than one

+ 082. your profession: see #079

+ 083. future school: prolly Otago uni

__MUSiC

+ 090. is music important to you: definitly

+ 091. do you sing?: yup I am singing along to 'long grass' by Pan Am as I type this

+ 092. what instruments do you play?: none, though I can read music for the piano and I am very very very slowly learning guitar

+ 094. what do you think of Eminem: I liked some of his earlier stuff and I like his more serious shit... other than that he's a genuis and a wanker

+ 095. in your opinion, what band is the best of all time? how the hell am I s'posed to answer that?!? *crosses arms across her chest 'you can't make me'*

__DO YOU LIKE

+ 096. pop music: some

+ 097. rock music: most

+ 098. punk music: some

+ 099. rap music: a little

+ 100. hip-Hop/RB: less

+ 101. country : no

+ 102. jazz: see above

+ 103. classical: some

+ 104. new age: most

+ 105. hardcore: lots

+ 106. indie rock: some

+ 107. emo: most, though I don't the word 'emo'