Hey kiddies,

I cut last night, quite badly actually. Not lots, just deeply.

Today blood bleed through my sleeve, my favourite top now has a huge circle of blood on the sleeve of it.

I am exchanging the scary looking blunt knife with Virgil (random semi stoner who everyone hates that I'm friends with) for some alcohol.

Speaking of Virgil, I cut in front of him today, testing his knife and showing him the sharpness of one of my little blades, anywho, I gave him one of the little blades...

I drank a little bit while I was cutting last night.

I like grog, it calms me down and it tastes good. Unlike blood, I am sick of the taste of blood.

Ick. Last night I smelt like dried blood and it was all I could smell, I hate that smell so much. Ick.

In case you can't tell, today was the first day back at school from holidays.

I am thinking of asking Jared out... I can't stand waiting for the other guy I like, especially since I basiclly know that he doesn't really want me.

*hum*

Mmmm... I am craving/ wanting a whole bunch of things:

1. Hugs

2. Pain

3. Sex

4. Marshmallows

5. Kisses

6. Alcohol

7. Someone else's blood

8. Damiana

9. A conversation with Hayden MacMorran

10. " " " that guy I like

11. To dye my hair

Yeah... that about sums it up...

Most of those things I think/ know I can get in the next week or so if I so desire. Except #7 and #9. Well, i prolly couldn't get #3 either because, contrary to popular belief, it isn't that easy.

Bah.

I was so depressed yesterday, it was creepy.

Love,

Lauren

PS I hate daylight savings, it's already nearly 7PM... grrrrrrr... and it's still sunny as