Well... today... what to say, what to say... Well, I set my expectations for today so low that I had an excellent day.

+ I scared Bevan by offering him a Shape

+ I hung out with fun people (and midgits)

+ Some dude at the train station took a good photo of me that he's gonna email to me... if I like it enough I might put it in here, but that's doubtful coz I was having an ugly/ fat day

+ I've decided that I really don't give a shit if people do drugs, it's their choice after all

+ People talked to me

And, yeah...

Last night I was watching the Gaurdian and it was showing what happened last episode and with no warning there was a shot of a chick cutting herself. I've never actually seen anyone cutting like I do in real life (or on tv or whatever). I've seen people burn and scratch themselves and I've seen fresh cuts and old cuts and everything, but never seen anyone put blade to flesh... meh...

Today I gave Jeffery (random morange ex-American dude from school) the URL to one of my other diaries and that diary has a link to this diary, so now he gets to see just how fucked I truly am...

*waves to Jeffery*, you tell anyone about this I kick you hard where it hurts, *smiles plesently*

Anywho...

Last night I was like Über depressed so I wrote this:

I remember when blood tasted good, when pain was comforting, when hiding it was fun. I remember feeling free when I put blade to flesh. All of that is gone now, it's no more. The blood tastes bitter, the pain has gone, hiding it's near impossible and with every stroke I am trapped. Trapped in walls of blood and metal and lies. I've sold my soul to the blade and now I want a refund.

Fucked, huh?

Twirly...

Lauren