Good Charlotte, the biggest fucking posers, I know, but those are some undeniably good lyrics.

I know that I only updated 4 hours ago but... well, it's my diary I'll write too bloody much if I damn well want to.

Ben's screen name is "lonely someone hold me", Laura's is "how do I make it all go away?". Both names piss me off. A lot of things piss me off at the moment. Ben changed his, now it's "why are you waiting, she doesn't care, yes she does she likes me, no she doesn't she hates you". Jared's is "I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I dont think they'd understand", damn I know the feeling. No one can be understood and no one can understand. It's as simple as that. My one is "you do it to yourself, you do, you and no one else", it's so true. Not for everyone, obviously, but for me it is. Manja's is "It's Too Bad She Won't Live, But Then Again Who Does?", it's from Bladerunner. Alex's is "if only you could see what I have seen with your eyes", which is another one from Bladerunner. I am glad I didn't have to watch the triggery bits again. Will just signed in, his is "you don't truly know a person until you fight them", which makes sense but you can never know all of a person anyway so what's it matter? I mean it's not like people are supposed to be fully known.

::hum::

Will and I sorted out a whole bunch of shit last night, like about when we broke and the such. It was good to get it all out. Made me feeling mildly better. I mean, sure, by bedtime I once again felt like crap, but that is not because of Will. I know that I write about him a lot but he's important to me.

I really don't feel like I have a best friend anymore. I know that I don't. I don't think it's me that's changed, I think it's Laura. She's different. Still talks down to me, but differently now. Like she's gotten some proof that she's superior or something.

I have to go now.

--Lauren

PS now I am just seeing how much blood I can lose without the "unfortunate" side affect of death.