I love the way everyone - every sane person - has an outlet. Everyone has them. Mine have always been journals/ diaries, ever since mum gave me one when I was 5. Even before I could writ I'd scribble. It's built into me now. Other people have music, sports... whatever. It's so cool.

Now, what I was actually gonna write about before I got slightly side tracked...

I have succumbed to this total sense of worthlessness... I dunno if worthlessness even describes it. I feel like I am everything compressed and trapped inside nothing.

If that makes sense.

I want out. I want to be free. Decompress me before I explode. Set me free... and more cliches.

Last night I couldn't sleep and I was so damned overwhelmed with feelings (hate, guilt, confusion, love, reasoning, avoidence, disgust) about my dad that I just could not handle it. So I cut. I hate myself even more now. 8 days and I fucked it all up. I was doing well, I was fine.

Fuck it all and fuck all of you.

--Lauren