second entry in an hour.

i don't know why i am nearly crying. i was mostly ok before ben came and talked to me. what is wrong with me? it's just ben. ben who i can [???] control and ben who likes me. but just the way he talks to me... it makes me feel sick and controlled in a really bad way. i don't know if he does it on purpose. i'll proberbly grow out of these feelings. i dunno what i want. i dunno why i feel like this. IT'S JUST BEN! for fucks sake.

i feel like i am going to cry.

calm it lauren.

fuck this is pathetic!

oh joy, i am prolly gonna cut over feeling like this. fun fun fun and a bottle of rum.

"block him" sophie says... i can't block ben! he'll just make that dub dude talk to me again, which i cannot be bothered with.

see, i don't block people permanantly. i either block them for a short while or i block and delete them. but i aint gonna block and delete ben. i prolly SHOULD but im not going to.

this is the most pathetic thing ever.

--lauren